Showered with gifts. ~ Dear Annie

Dear Annie,

These past few days have been great! Last Thursday, I had my first baby shower for you! You are so loved by so many people Annie! We got so many cute little outfits, bows, and blankets for you! We also got some BIG gifts! Like a car seat, and even a bumbo! I was so excited! I felt so blessed that people wanted to shower my little one with gifts! It was so nice of everyone and I swear, I have never been to a baby shower with that many gifts! It was crazy and exciting! All for you sweetheart!

Showered with gifts for my sweet Annie!


Auntie SaraJane, Mama, and Grandma Janie :)

As far as you in the NICU goes, nothing has really changed baby girl. You still are on your breathing tube. They decided to give you seizing medication even though your MRI and brain monitor scans came back with no seizure-like activity. The doctor last Thursday told me, with the motions you make at times, it really looks like seizures so they just wanted to try medication for a trial and error process. When the doctor told me they wanted to try the medication, I felt at peace with the decision. But it has now been 5 days with you using it and nothing has changed, they even went ahead and gave you a second seizure medicine starting yesterday and still, it hasn't helped with the motions you make. They said that if the medicine isn't working by Wednesday, they would stop giving it to you. I'm not going to lie Annie, it is so hard with this guessing game. I wish I could read your mind and cure everything. I wish I could take your pain away, I wish I could hold you more than the one time I did, I wish I could kiss your little forhead and feet whenever I wanted to. There are many things I wish. But I know that our Heavenly Father is teaching me patience. Patience is so hard but I know that all of this will be worth it in the end. I know that through prayer, hope, and Faith, the Lord will bless us. Even though I don't think of that all of the time, I know it's true. I try to be positive all the time, especially when people are asking about you. But it is hard sometimes. Sometimes I just want to cry- I just want to say that all I want is my daughter home, I want to be the one to take care of you at 2 a.m. when you're crying, I want to be the one to always change your diapers, give you baths and comfort you. I'm sorry I can't always be at the hospital by your side. I always tell your daddy that I wish I could put a bed next to your incubator! He just laughs :).

This week the Ear, Nose and Throat team are hoping to scope your airway to see if you'll be able to breathe on your own. Since your little chin is so small, they're not sure if you'll be able to breathe on your own. I have hope though Annie :) I pray for you all the time. And I know that so many people are praying for you. I pray that you'll be able to, one day, breathe on your own and eat on your own! They did put that little feeding tube up your nose last week instead of it going through your mouth. I sure hope that's more comfortable for you sweetheart.

Well Annie, I sure do love you. And as I lay here in bed with your daddy next to me, we are both thinking of you. I sleep with one of the baby blankets my mom gave you when you were born every night. I hold it and think of you all night. I love you sweet baby girl :) Sleep well tonight! Dream of Heaven! (And me of course!) Love you!!

Love,

Mommy