Thursday March 6, 2014... Your Birth Day!

Dear Annie,

Today was the day you were born! And we had no idea that was going to happen! We started the day off with the nurses wheeling me down to the first floor of the Hospital for my hour long ultrasound to look more in depth at you. Everything they saw they said was normal. You were doing your practice breaths, moving around, and your organs, etc looked completely fine. 

The only problem though, was that your heart rate kept going down. And when it wasn't going down, it was staying at a steady level when usually the monitor is doing more squiggly lines, yours was more of a straight line and that made the doctors nervous, which made your daddy and I nervous. 

Your daddy had to go into work for a little bit that afternoon and sign the papers to close on our townhome. My parents came to visit me and asked if I wanted any food at the cafeteria. I asked them to get me some soup and they said they would run and grab it and come back up. 15 minutes later, they still weren't back. Your heart rate went down to a 60… It was the most scary feeling looking at that monitor and knowing that a 60 was NOT  a good sign. Two nurses came in and checked my pulse and knew that it wasn't my heart rate, but that it definitely was yours. Before I knew it, 10 doctors rushed into the room ready to put me under for an emergency c-stection. They put an oxygen mask on me and I began to cry. It almost felt like that was the end of my life, like all of those doctors were in there ready to watch me die. I then heard my dads voice saying, "What's going on!?" I began to ball my eyes out. As that experience felt like an eternity,  your heart rate went back up within a minute and a half. It was the scariest experience. My parents came in worried and started asking the doctors questions. I had my dad call your dad and he immediately came back to the Hospital. 

Everything calmed down after that scary experience for a couple of hours. At around 5:00 p.m. I signed the loan papers to purchase our home. Everyone thought it was so funny that I was closing on a home with Sam as all of this was going on. We laughed. We should have taken pictures of us in the hospital signing those pictures!

At  6:00 p.m. things changed... three doctors came into my room and talked to your daddy and I and said that we needed to have a C-section because of your heart rate not being steady and dropping down like it was. They said to plan on 8:30. Sam and I were so nervous and didn't really have words. We just wanted you to be born healthy and mostly alive! 3 minutes later, one of the doctors came in and said, “Actually we’re going to go for 6:30.” Sam and I FREAKED out! Especially me. I started getting hot flashes worse than I ever had. I got out of the bed and started whipping around the room with my I.V. swinging everywhere. I told Sam I needed ice, that I was getting too hot. I went into the bathroom trying to get cold water on me. Sam got me ice and as we kept freaking out, we were by each others side in all of it.  My dad and Sam gave me a beautiful blessing to comfort me. To know that you’d be okay. The anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural. I was so nervous for the epidural but it wasn't as bad as I imagined. My legs became completely numb. Not just my legs though, but from my breasts, all the way down to my toes! I could not believe that I was about to have you! It all seemed just like a dream!

We went in for the C-section. The room was FREEZING COLD. Sam had to wear white scrubs. I was so nervous. I remember when they started the C-section, looking at Sam with his face of worry taking pictures of everything. Suddenly I felt this huge amount of pressure from my ribs down to my lower stomach. I knew they had just pulled you out of my tummy. Sam didn’t say anything and then the doctor told him to go with them to go see you. 

As Sam was gone, all I could think of is, what you looked like, why didn't I hear you cry?, and the excitement I had to see your face! I kept feeling the pressure of the doctors tugging and pulling on my belly. I knew they were stitching and stapling me up. It was so weird to feel all of the pressure and tugging, but no pain. 

Sam then came back as they were finishing up stitching me and started showing me pictures of you. Annie, you were BEAUTIFUL in the pictures! But I wanted to see you in real life!! What I mostly noticed was the DARK head of hair you had! I have no clue how you got all of that hair and where the dark hair came from! But it was so pretty in pictures.

 I didn’t get to see you for about 2 hours. I was DYING to see you! And when that moment finally came, I couldn’t help but cry. I was SO amazed by you. You were such a fighter. I was so honored and excited to meet you my sweet little Annie. You were born at 7:06 p.m. Thursday March 6, 2014 and weighed 3 lbs. 7 oz. You were just a teeny tiny little thing. You had a breathing tube in you because when you were born, you weren't breathing. You also had a feeding tube. As I looked at you, I knew you were perfect. I looked at your little hands, you couldn't open them, and your thumbs wouldn't nudge at all. They were just super tense. We wondered why you couldn't open your hands. But again, we knew you were perfect Annie. Our Heavenly Father loved you so much and knew that your daddy and I needed you in our lives. You've already humbled us so much. You have been that fighter that we've needed. You have been so tough in rough situations. You have been through so much during your life. And we are so blessed and honored to call you our daughter :)

That night at 3 a.m. I could NOT sleep. Sam was passed out in the bed/couch beside me. I decided to call the nurses. They took me up to see you again. I was so happy to see you again. I know you knew I was there with you. Even though I couldn’t hold you, I knew that one day I’d be able to hold your sweet little 3 pound 7 ounce body in my arms. I couldn't help but cry looking at you. I just wanted you to be healthy. I could hear the moms in the rooms next to mine with their crying babies and their mothers being able to comfort you. That's all I wanted, was to be able to hold and comfort you. I know that day will come someday though :) And I will be patient daily and look forward to that day!