Happy Due Date:)

Dear Annie,

Well... Happy Due Date yesterday!! It is so weird that you were due on May 3rd and here you are, coming onto two months old in the next couple of days. How crazy and fast things can change! I'm not going to lie, this has been the hardest two months of my life but the happiest two months of my life because I have YOU in my life! How grateful I am for you and your sweet spirit! On EXCITING thing that happened this week though was.. Your dad entered me into a contest through one of my favorite Blogs (Small Fry Blog) for Mothers Day for a night stay at the Grand America Hotel, a facial, and breakfast in bed... and I WON!! :) How excited and grateful I was! Especially because I will only be about 10 minutes away from you that night instead of 45 minutes away!:) I cannot wait for that nights stay! <3

This week, not much has changed. I guess the biggest change, is them changing medications for your episodes/spells. All of these medicines are technically for seizures. We know that what you are having aren't seizures though. But some of them have helped a little and then don't after a few days. I hope and pray that this medicine will work!

The past few days though, I have been thinking of when you were first born, and the first week and a half of your life. You didn't desat at all. I actually talked to one of the Nurses today about it and told them I want them to start looking back at their notes to see what has changed since then. I really feel like we may find an answer. Oh Annie...! If we found something, I would be so overwhelmed with joy! How sad and hard it is for me to see you clench your whole body up when you have these episodes and not be able to breathe. It breaks my heart every time I see it. I don't want you to be going through pain, I don't want you to experience life like this. I do have a testimony though, that your body will be perfected, that you will be able to have a perfect body to run around, eat food and of course, breathe on your own! How grateful I am for the Plan of Salvation and Eternal Families! http://www.mormon.org/beliefs/plan-of-salvation

This week, I got to hold you a couple of times and it made me so happy :) Some of the Nurses are super sweet and let me hold you when I want! Some others on the other hand, are a little more strict. This is because if your tube were to come out, you are such a tough intubation that they may not be able to get the tube back in. And that cannot happen. Your dad got to hold you this week too! And he helped me give you a bath a couple of days ago! Oh yeah... HE ALSO CHANGED YOUR DIAPER!! He said that was the first diaper he's EVER changed! He had a hard time figuring out how to do it but he did it! And I think we'll have him change quite a few more to get more used to it;)

Just always crossing those feet of yours :)

Your daddy giving you a bath!

Since we can't bring the "real" Ruby to the Hospital your Aunt Amanda and Uncle Adam got us the next best thing!;)

Today, your dad and I came and saw you after our Stake Conference. You looked BEAUTIFUL Annie! We could see your sweet little lips underneath your breathing tube and all of that tape and you looked so so sweet. The Nurses say that when they change your tape on your face and see your lips, that you have MY lips! They say you look like me and I just get so giddy and happy when they say it! :) You are the sweetest little babe around! And also the most beautiful little girl!

You are beautiful!

Always needing those Girlie Glue bows on you:)

I love you Annie so much with all of my heart. Your dad will be giving you a blessing to give you your name next Sunday (which is Mother's Day). And let me tell ya, that will be the best first Mother's Day ever. I am so grateful for the sweet little girl you are and for the example you have been to so many people. I'm tellin ya, and I say it everyday, you are doing more work in that little crib of yours than most people do every single day. You are uplifting people, bettering people, and giving them hope. People are praying for you, so many people. People who may even be struggling have gotten down on their knees and humbly pray for you Annie. You are SO loved sweetheart! Please always remember that. So many people love you, I love you, your dad loves you and of course and never forget, your Heavenly Father loves you, so much. He knows what you're going through. He is ALWAYS with you. Please always remember that. I know that our Heavenly Father has been watching over our family so much these past few months. He will always be there-even when we feel completely alone. And how grateful I am to know that.

I love you sweetie pie. I hope you sleep well tonight.

Love,

Mommy