Dear Annie,
Not too much has happened these past few days! But you are up to 4 lbs 12 oz! Although, when I talked to the nurse tonight, she told me that you lost weight today.. 1 ounce. We need you to keep growing babes! We are having a meeting tomorrow with all of the Doctors and will be getting a lot of answers from that! Including when we will be scheduling your Tracheotomy.
Things that have changed is, they made new splints for your cute little feet to align straight and guess what? They're HOT PINK! How cute is that?! We call them your "accessories". You have quite a few "accessories" for your cute little feet and hands:) Even though I know you do not like them, I know that they will help! But it breaks my heart when you try to fight them off. They also tried giving you a binky even though you already have a tube down your mouth, they managed to get it in your mouth. You didn't suck on it, you just held it in your mouth and then after a while, you got sick of it and spit it out! Haha.
Today you had quite a rough day... You cried for about thirty minutes straight. You were so calm and you were holding my hand and out of the blue, you opened your eyes and started balling. The hard and sad part is, I can't hear you cry because of your breathing tube. So all I see are tears rushing out of your eyes and down your sweet little cheeks. It makes mama so sad every time it happens. I could tell you were in pain and I wished I could take that pain away from you. It kills me watching you in pain and the doctors, nurses, and even I don't know what's wrong. We tried everything from changing your diaper, to repositioning you. We finally gave you some Tylenol and Ativan which calmed you down after thirty minutes. The whole entire time I just held your hands and as you were squeezing onto my finger, my chin just trembled as I wanted you to be okay. Your sweet little eyes were open and you were staring into my eyes and I know you knew who I was. As we both had tears in our eyes, we just looked at each other; you in pain, and me in pain because I couldn't take yours away. How hard it is for me to see you like that. I always say I wish I knew I could read your mind so I could help you!
Annie, as I was with you today in the hospital, I realized how really blessed I am to have you. You are such an amazing example to me and if I got to go back in time, I wouldn't change ANYTHING. You are perfect in every way and you are the example I need in my life to return to my Heavenly Father one day. I know that up in Heaven, you just wanted a body, you didn't care if it was imperfect. You just wanted to get a body so you could one day, you could have a perfect body and be with your family for eternity. I love the scripture in Enos 1:27 which says,
"And I soon go to the place of my a, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall b. And I rejoice in the day when my c shall put on d,
and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure,
and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place
prepared for you in the e of my Father. Amen."
I think of you when I read that. I know that will be you one day and you will be going straight to the Celestial Kingdom and our Heavenly Father will gladly invite you in. You loved the plan that our Heavenly Father had in store for us and you wanted a body so bad that you chose the one that you have. How great of an example you are to everyone. You are doing so much work just laying in that incubator than anyone could ever could do!
Everyone is praying for you sweet heart! You are amazing. You are the most amazing and strong little girl. You really are a fighter. I pray every day that you will keep fighting and if it is our Heavenly Fathers will, that miracles will happen. I love you so much my sweet Annie Girl! Keep growing, keep fighting, know that I love you. Sweet dreams my little one.
Love,
Mommy
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| Attempting to suck on your binky! |
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| Sweetest thing :) |
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| The Brace for your little feet! |
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| Wide Eyed Girl! :) |
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| Your sweet little hand<3 |
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| Trying to dress you in premie clothing... Still WAY too big on you! haha. |
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| Best Friends :) |
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| Kisses for my girl:) |
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| Families are Forever:) |
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| You are BEAUTIFUL! |
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| Sleep Sound:) |
You're such an amazing mother! And she's just as beautiful as you are Jessica! we love you :)
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, those bows!! She looks so darling!
ReplyDeleteHello, I'm Ross. I'm friends with Natalie! You are such a sweet mother and you have an amazing family!! Annie is lucky to have such wonderful people surrounding her! You are all in my thoughts and prayers!!
ReplyDelete