Happy First Easter!

Dear Annie,

Happy first Easter yesterday! Wow... it is crazy how fast time is flying! It's almost May! And you're getting bigger! You're almost up to five pounds! You are growing growing growing! It's making mommy very happy!

Well sweet heart... I'm not going to lie, this week has been hard on me. Ever since that meeting last Tuesday with all of the Doctors, I haven't been able to think about much accept for what the doctors told your dad and I. I thought I cried a lot in March... well... I broke the record last week! (I think your dad thinks I'm crazy!) I just want you to know Annie... I love you so much. You have been the biggest blessing in my life. I'm so grateful for the fighter you've been. You have been through so much these past 7 weeks. More than I think any adult could handle. Through tubes down your throat and nose, to I.V's in your hands, feet, and even head. It's so hard for me to see you go through this and I wish I could trade you places. I just pray that you won't be in pain! It's so hard to see my little girl be sad and in pain. Whenever people ask me what they can do for our little family, I just ask them to pray for you. I know so many people are praying for you sweetie. People have been so kind and generous. They love you Annie! They want you to be okay and well! I hope for the same thing too.

The day of the meeting with all of your Doctors, that night I had a dream about you. It was so peaceful. I had a dream that you got to come home. That you were completely fine. You were probably around 2 or 3 years old in my dream and I was so so happy and overwhelmed with the joy that I felt that I had you HOME! And I could take care of my sweet daughter. Oh the hope and faith I have that the dream will become a reality one day! I truly have so much faith and hope Annie!

I feel like sometimes the Doctors are just doing their job. They're not really having the full sympathy they would have if it was their own child. This is nothing against the Doctors, because they're GREAT and have done SO MUCH. But I know being a mother and father is different. We have much hope that things will be okay! And I think we have to have hope and faith! If we didn't, I don't think we would be able to go through this trial. All we can do is rely on our Heavenly Father.

Yesterday was Easter and I thought a lot about our Savior and all he has done and does for us. It's amazing to think that he died not only for all of the sins of the world, but for all of our pains and afflictions. I KNOW that he loves you and I and EVERYONE Annie! He loves YOU Annie! SO SO much! He loved you so much that he wanted you to be sent down here to be an example to the rest of us. He knew that you would help others come back to His presence. You are one of His very special servants down here:). Please always know that you are an incredible little girl. And if you're only down here with us for one more week, or until you're old and gray, I know that you were sent down here for that reason, to help all of us return to our Savior again.

As far as an update, on Friday they started giving you a new medicine to see if it would help with your muscles tensing up, or what we call, your episodes. And guess what, it's helping! Usually you have 30-70 a day and these past couple of days, you've only been having about 13! Miracles are happening with you little one! I know it! I just hope and pray that this medicine will continue helping and that as they up the doses, these episodes may be able to go away all together. The great thing is, is with those fewer episodes you've been having, they've only had to help you with your oxygen for about 4-6 of them each day and your oxygen only goes down to around 75% when usually, we've seen you go down to 4%. And when you go down that low, that scares your mommy, a ton. You turn purple and your lips get bright white. It makes your mommy cry. So I am very glad that this medicine and you're only going down to 60-75%! You're doing great babes! And did I mention you are just little more and more beautiful everyday?! Seriously! I have the cutest little girl! Also, your daddy got to hold you for the very first time last week! It was a very sweet and precious experience and I know that your dad loved holding you and loved being able to hold you for the first time. It was so neat to watch and made me so so happy! I think you liked your daddy holding you, but not as much as you like ME holding you of course ;) I also got to give you a bath for the very first time before your dad held you! It was so much fun to "bathe" you! It's pretty much just getting a wet sponge and scrubbing your body. Nothing like a real bath!

Annie, I love you so much. You have been such a blessing in my life and I am so grateful to see miracles happening and for prayers being answered. I know that we still have a ways to go, but I hope and pray every single day that everything will be okay. Some days are better than others and I know that through it all, you will fight. You sure are amazing. You are my inspiration Annie. I love you my sweet little girl.. Sleep well!

Love,

Mommy

Giving you a bath! <3

Daddy, daughter time :)

Holding mama's finger!

Your dads sweet cousin did his Eagle Project for the patients in the NICU and had your name on the list, he gave you an EXTRA big Easter basket! Thank you Zach! <3

So relaxed!! Love it!!!